I recently came across an article on Business Insider (link here) that discussed “9 things wedding guest don’t actually care about”. I decided to read through the article and kind of analyze it, having my own wedding, and being a guest at 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 weddings since 2014, I felt like I could relate to this article and decided to share my insight on their choice of topics included in the article.
The article states: “This is for the part of your invitation that will likely be trashed within minutes of arriving in your guests’ homes.”
I paid no attention to the style in which my name and address was written, I simply saw my name and tore open the envelope and then the envelope met my trashcan. Never once did I stop and think “oh my, such nice handwriting on this envelope”. I personally hand wrote my own addresses and no one said a damn thing to me about it, and my handwriting by envelope 100, with the crappy pen I bought, had became horrible. However, I would like to point out that while I did not notice the style/font my name was written in, I did notice how I was addressed on the envelope (you can read a little about that here). How you address each person on the envelope is a much better detail to pay attention to over the font. So grab a nice pen or printer and just address them as best you can. You’ll save yourself some money too, because literally no one will notice.
The article states: “They think they’re doing their friends a favor by letting them choose their own seats. But for guests who may not know anyone else at the wedding, this can be a painfully uncomfortable situation.”
Out of the many weddings I attended over the years two had open seating. One of those weddings I was actually a bridesmaid for and had no designated seat for the reception, and we all know bridesmaids make a grand entrance with the bride and groom, so all the guest are seated by the time we get into the room. I will admit it was pretty hard to find 2 seats for me and my husband (who was also in the wedding) to sit at together. At our wedding I assigned seating, as much as I hated making the escort cards (I’ve seen so many better ideas than mine), my guest didn’t seem to mind being told where to sit, ultimately it wont matter once everyone is dancing, but for dinner it makes sense. In fact I had multiple people tell me afterwards that they loved who I sat them with, and that they made new friends. My friend even told me she loved meeting all of my husbands friends at the table, she told me that she thought they were hilarious (I must admit my husband does have some fun friends). Open seating seems like a nightmare for a guest, specially when they have a “Plus One” and you try to find a seat for the both of you to sit together. Also, you probably have guests who don’t get along with each other. I did, and I could only imagine if my open seating had left those guests next to each other instead of tables apart. Yikes!
The article states: “most guests won’t remember whether you used peonies or hydrangeas.”
The article also goes on to imply that the only centerpieces people remember are the ones that get in the way. Now I remember 2 centerpieces, one was overly tall, fancy, and completely in the way. It brought up conversations about fire safety with the other guests at my table since candles were involved. The other one was small in height, yet still fancy, and very memorable in a good way. This headline should really read “Overly Fancy Centerpieces”, since it is a wedding and obviously you want the centerpieces to be fancy at least a little bit. You just don’t want them to be so memorable that it leaves a bad impression and is the only thing your guests remember of the wedding because they were in the way. My centerpieces were empty wine bottles from Dreaming Tree (by Dave Matthews) with a few flowers in each bottle, mainly sunflowers that I picked up at a flower shop. I bet no one remembers them and I spent no time on them, other than drinking all that tasty wine.
A choreographed first dance
The article states: “Unless you’re really into the idea of adding dance practice into your already busy wedding planning schedule, you can skip the fancy choreography because your guests don’t expect or want anything fancy.”
It is true, unless you are a professional ballroom dancer no guest expects you to have a choreographed first dance. Also, watching the bride and groom dance is fun for like a minute, after that it becomes boring (unless you are a professional dancer and you’re putting on a show). Even I got a little bored during my first dance, and for my father daughter dance I had the DJ invite the guests onto the floor to join in half way through the song, because it is boring sitting on the sidelines during this time. As a guest you’re not eating, you’re not dancing, you’re barely talking, and you just sit there. BORING. Also, I’ve been to a wedding where the couple obviously rehearsed their first dance. Want to know what I remember? I remember thinking they looked unnatural, that the entire moment was awkward and it was dumb, and then I looked away.
How the food is served
The article states: “in general, if a couple is providing a meal, most guests won’t care how it is served.”
While it is true the taste is the most important part of the meal, there are moments where this statement is false and the article say so when it states: “most guests couldn’t care less if their meal is served on China or on plastic dinnerware as long as it is sturdy”. So really how the food is served is important in some sense, the plates and the utensils should be accommodating, make sure your guests have sturdy plates and utensils so they can actually eat the food you spent so much money on. I think the mark they missed on this point was going overboard with how food and/or tables are displayed (do you need a useless charger under a plate? No). I remember the woman working at the hotel where my wedding was held was a little stressed out in an email to me about how my napkins should be folded. I just randomly picked one and rolled with it, besides a napkin wont be folded for long! The only time I remember the plate/utensils situation was when my steak was served to me in a martini glass, at first I though “Oh how cool!”, then when I realized it was hard to cut my steak in a martini glass I thought “how annoying”. However, the steak was delicious.
The article states: “only half of the guests were paying attention and everyone looked bored except for the parents.”
It’s another one of those boring moments for guests, another can’t talk moment. If you want a slideshow make it one that continuously plays during the reception that your guests can admire if or when they feel like doing so. Stopping the entire event to watch a love story that we already knew happened (we’re at the wedding) can be boring. We live in the social media age, pretty safe bet to assume we’ve seen this pictures before on Facebook or Instagram…. I did attend a wedding with a slideshow, and it felt long and dragged out, and I felt like I couldn’t converse with the people next to me. However, their photographer did manage to throw in pictures that were taken and edited that day, so that part was impressive I suppose. I would have enjoyed it better had they did the continuous play throughout the reception though.
The bouquet and garter toss
The article states: “Many couples are opting out of the bouquet and garter toss, and guests haven’t even noticed. For many, it is an outdated and unnecessary tradition that cuts into the dancing time and puts unmarried guests on the spot.”
FALSE FALSE FALSE!
The bouquet and garter toss is my favorite part, well the bouquet toss is anyways, I could do without going up the dress for the garter part. To say that it goes unnoticed is wrong, I went to a wedding and saw no bouquet toss, and I was a little bummed, I even questioned if I missed it. While I don’t participate anymore, I like watching other woman try to catch the bouquet and tear it to pieces. I get you don’t want to put your single friends on the spot, but they don’t have to participate if they don’t want to, no one holds a gun to their head. I even had friends who missed my bouquet toss and I still haven’t heard the last of it 3 years later. So yes, people notice.
The article states: “they just aren’t that picky about which flavor you choose, and are even less concerned about the design.”
I will just ask this right now. Does anyone who attended my wedding remember what my cake looked like? Probably not. If anything they remember that the cake was delicious.
The article states: “This ends up being a waste of time and money for brides and grooms”
TRUE, SO MUCH TRUE!
I bought wedding favors for my guests, guess what I found at the end of the night? A basket full of wedding favors that I worked really hard on. I was told that maybe they didn’t know they could take them since they weren’t left at each table setting, however each one was wrapped and had a little tag that said “Thank You”. I think the real issue is with everything else going on, favors go unnoticed on the table or they get left behind. It’s not like I had something useless either, I gave them wine stoppers wrapped up in cellophane with little bows with the previously mentioned “Thank You” tags attached. Money wasted entirely. Money wasted on the favors (I think a box of them sits at my in-laws garage, lost in a black hole), and money wasted on their presentation (cellophane and ribbon costs money!). Skip it, I made my DJ take like 15 of them home and I just started passing them out to whoever was lingering at the reception while the clean up crew was getting to work.