Even though there is never an easy way to tell a friend you wish to no longer be friends, when you have that feeling you just need to rip the band-aid off. You may play back positive memories you’ve had with your friend in your head, but if those positive memories are overshadowed by negative ones, it’s time to say goodbye.
I’ve been walked over in the past. I would let things roll off my back, let people skip apologizing, and then move on. The problem with this is I just felt resentment because I was not getting what I needed in the relationship.
My personality type thrives on two things from relationships:
- Being open and honest about my feelings
The most important rule in any relationship is to have open and honest communication with your friend or partner. If you don’t have that then you don’t have a healthy relationship.
I’ve recently had to break up with a close friend of my own. I realized our needs for friendship weren’t being met. We hit a wall, with neither of us backing down. I felt I was owed an apology, she felt she owed no apology and claimed mine was backhanded (since I included what had made me upset). I felt like when I was honest about my feelings it was cast aside and all I saw was that she cared more about herself and her feelings than caring about mine as well. This is how I knew the friendship we had was gone.
Maybe it’s just growing apart from each other, neither of us are the same person from when we first met. It is possible that our ideas of what we expect from a friendship have changed. The decision to part ways was not easy, I thought about it for over a week nonstop and discussed it with people who know both of us.
When it comes time to break up with your friend the best thing to do is try to be polite and wish them well in all their future endeavors. Deciding to end your friendship may be rough, but you don’t need to be mean while doing it. For my particular issue I was very sad that I felt my only option to communicate was through email. However, I knew I couldn’t let my feelings go unsaid until she was ready to talk to me. Who knew how long that could be when it has already been weeks.